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POETRY

Doing 

 

I Didn’t Do Enough Today

I woke up

fed the pets

walked them

ate

cleaned up

journaled

talked to sage

texted

emailed 

organized.

Went to my studio.

 

Saw a client,

started a new painting, 

went to an art show

finished a painting, 

entertained 12 people,

drank tons of water,

peed several times

gathered files for tomorrow,

went to an online class.

 

After dinner I thought

the day is not over and I have definitely not done enough today. 

 

What would happen

if the empty spaces I imagine I would have 

if I did less

would actually show up?

where would “I” go

what vortex would I be sucked into

when would I see myself again

I would certainly dissipate

grow unlovable

I’d be less than

I’d get lost 

 

what would happen if I faced 

my exhaustion

and my greed 

the plethora of notions, ideas, projects, impressions, goals, responsibilities, 

I think I want them all 

 

But maybe I just 

don’t want empty space

room to let in approval 

or disapproval.

 

As a child, and even now

when I fill it all up

with doing

I am safe

I don’t get subjected to 

reflection or judgment

of being a “not doing enough-er” 

 

what will happen to my body

if the voice of “not enough” 

continues to burn me

like a candle at both ends

I love my doing

I just don’t love what it is doing to me. 

I Pray

I Pray

I pray for what is supposed to be.

Supposed to be and sometimes isn’t.

Sometimes isn’t noticed but is always there.

I pray for the full space, the continuum, the constancy.

I pray to the East. Potential. Beginning,

The West. Done is done, for now.

The North, frozen in it’s ever changing constancy.

To the South, full light of day, greets greatest growth, greatest potential.

Be kind.

Be without shame or guilt.

Be limitless and set limits.

Hold self, hold others, hold it together, let it fall apart.

Let it all fall apart.

 Love my natural self, my baby self, my child self,

my woman, woman, woman self.

I pray for that too.

For self and for connection.

For breathing in, and taking it all with me.

And breathing out and sending it all back again.

Forward tide

non resistance,

peace.

©2024 D'vorah Horn

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